Crossing a Line

I generally like to think of myself as a laid-back, mellow kind of person. Now, this isn't the most truthful representation of me at all times of every day, but I do alright generally in letting things just slip past without getting my knickers in a bunch. However, as calm, cool, and collected as I like to think I am, I do have quite the list of pet peeves. Some are completely laughable, but out of the list of things that really peeves me are stupid people and people doing stupid things really just irks me.

From time to time, I will Google myself. Vain, perhaps. I don't really use it to boost my ego or anything. Mostly I just am just interested to see if someone with my same name has done anything amusing. Since my name is not common, I tend to see a list of about three things on Google. 1. Sites about wasps in Welsh. 2. A city in Germany. 3. A scholarship I won with my friend my Freshman year of college. So, you can imagine my surprise as I looked down the list and saw a link asking if I was a jerk. This was very much a strange thing for me to see. I mean, sure I can be a snarky, pain-in-the-ass from time to time, but to see a link claiming that I am a jerk? Weird. Of course at this point I have to click on it. The first thing that shows up on this page is a large picture of my face and a bar underneath for people to click one way or the other. Now, I never signed up for this website. Hell, I had never even heard of it. Why would they have this photo of me? My first assumption as to how it got there was me assuming that I had a very unhappy ex-boyfriend who wanted to be the bowling ball under my mattress. Regardless of how it got there, I didn't want it there anymore. There was a button at the top of the page that said, "REMOVE ME." I clicked on it and it brought up this lovely message:

Just because you have a profile on jerk.be does not mean you are a jerk. Less than 5% of the millions of people on jerk.be are jerks. jerk.be is where you find out if someone is a jerk, is not a jerk, or is a saint in the eyes of others. No one`s profile is ever removed because jerk.be is based on searching free open internet searching databases and it`s not possible to remove things from the Internet. You can however use jerk.be to manage your reputation and resolve disputes with people who you are in conflict with. There are also additional paid premium features that are available http://www.jerk.be/signin.php

This causes me to become so incredibly annoyed. This random "company" is taking photos of me (and millions of other peoples' I assume based on their blurb) from my Facebook account to post on their website. And then they have the gall to stick it up on their site telling me that there is no possible way for me to remove it since it was found by searching "free open internet searching databases." But don't worry, I can use all of this stolen material to my advantage to help with my reputation. That is bullshit. There had to be some more serious looking than free open searches to get to that specific photo of me. It is not possible to lock my Facebook page down any further than it is at this moment. Then, if I really wanted, I could pay to have "premium features." No. I refuse to even think about paying for some unknown service that stole my personal photo for their usage. I understand that there are things on the internet that end up free game to people, but locked down, personal photos should not be one of those items. Not now. Not ever.

Adventures of Public Transportation

In my almost one year of living in Portland, I have learned a great many things. One of these lessons has been learning to deal with/enjoy the crazies on public transportation. With Portland being the 5th best city for public transportation in the States, I have come to rely on it as my means of getting around. That, and I don't own a car yet. Each trip on the MAX or bus adds a little more excitement into my life. I think excitement is what you call it... I try to look on the bright side of things, since there isn't much of a way around it at the moment. From screaming children to the clinically insane, these are some of my favorite adventures while riding mass transit.

Ever since cell phones became smaller than a purse and no longer needed to plug into a car in order to run, people have been surgically attached at the hand to their phones. Not that I am necessarily much different, but I can leave it in another room for at least a few hours before suffering nausea, shakiness, sweating, and other withdrawal symptoms. But, there is one huge difference that separates me from the addicts. I don't talk on the phone while riding public transportation. I refuse to. It is too loud for me to hear what is being said, the other person can't hear me, and I would rather not have an entire bus of strangers listening to a conversation about what my cat threw up the other night.

Most people who ride on public transportation seem to believe that they are surrounded by some invisible, soundproof bubble. There are topics that have come up during other peoples' phone conversations that have been laughable to cringe-worthy. I have heard multiple breakups, how a person should tell another that they are being evicted from their house for blowing all the rent on drugs, and who gave what disease to who. And then there are those people that choose to believe that what they have to say is crucially important to everyone in the vicinity that they must talk so loudly that everyone on the bus can hear the topic at hand. I'm not sure, but I think they must be hoping that someone will stand up and shout, "Amen!" or something like that as they preach on the phone. It might make things more interesting. But, for now, I just have to laugh to myself as someone shouts about a hooker giving them The Clap.

Along the same lines as people talking too loud on their phones, I also get a kick out of the crazies that just yell at everyone in general. Just the other morning I was riding into downtown when a man got on the MAX, and as we started rolling again, he started pacing and shouting at everyone on board. In these cases, it isn't always the best idea to laugh because you never know quite how unstable they really are. This man starts off by yelling, "All of you from California, listen up. We don't give a fuck about Arnold Schwarzenegger!" This comment was then followed up with, "The Blazers suck! Packers are the best fucking team in the world!" Not only did I find this hilarious because it was 6:30AM and the rest of the MAX had been completely silent before hand, but the Blazers and Packers don't even play the same sport. His final outburst was telling us to go to school and actually learn something about the world. I decided that I must be attending the wrong school since they don't seem to teach me any of this crucial knowledge. Perhaps I should transfer to the School of Under the Bridge. I hear they have a fantastic program for a major in drug sales and prostitution.

I do stand by this last story as being one of my favorite trips on the MAX. After signing papers for my new apartment, the roommate and I were headed back into downtown. A man stumbles on board and the places his hand on my shoulder. Since it is possible to lose your balance when the train starts moving, I don't think much of it. That was until he sat down and his hand lingered on my shoulder for another handful of seconds. At this point I just stared at my roommate and tried to shrug away from his hand. Eventually he moved it, but he just kept staring at us. After a couple minutes, the man turns to another man and starts asking questions about us. We had been eating a snack at the time, and the man asked the guy what it was we were eating. The normal guy who was dragged into this just kind of shrugs and tells the man to just ask us. He replies, "I can't do that. Women don't know how to read." We started laughing, but he really was convinced that we couldn't read, or talk coherently, or even think for that matter." We should be kept in the kitchen for that matter. After all, all I am really good for is making a sandwich. A damned good one at that.

No matter what my journey on mass transit is like, it will always give me great stories. That is, if I don't go deaf from phone calls, mute from a crazy cutting out my tongue for laughing, or dumb from just being a woman. Just remember, if you keep it up, I will gladly throw your phone out the door at the next stop. Really.